Migrating to Canada can be lonely and boring if you are used to the life in Manila. Manila life is so vibrant, alive and you never run out of things to do, places to go and of course people you know that you meet in places that never closes. Yup. Never closes.. or at least it closes when no one is awake. Manila life was going out for lunch during the weekdays with coworkers even if its no one’s birthday or not the anniversary of a company or gosh, no promotions happening. It does not matter. You go out for lunch with coworkers and clients for many different reasons. The point here is, we go out, period. We also meet up for coffee or an early appy to wait until traffic eases up at a nearby restaurant and café strip or the mall. Either that or you get stuck for about 2 hours along EDSA, listening to music or glued to your cell phone talking with someone, be it your kids asking what time you’re coming home, husband, who may be in the opposite side of the highway and also stuck in traffic, clients who are combining work and the latest biz info, or friends who are all, well, struck in traffic just like the rest of the working population.
There’s never enough time to do everything you want to do, or that is available for you to do in Manila. If you have the money and don’t need to work, then you’re made! If you are like the rest of the 90% of the Manila population, then you need time to work but also need time to do your personal stuff. Its an intermingled type of lifestyle, where people just naturally understand that while you are there to work, you also need time to take care of yourselves and your family. It’s a great balance actually, if you are just reading this. Its always nice to read about things but to see and live it, well, that’s a different story.
There are spas and salons just around the corner. If by chance when you are stuck in traffic and suddenly felt a twinge in your shoulder, you can easily make a turn to any spa in the area and they’re there to actually take away the stress out of you and leave refreshed and pampered. Literally.
You are surrounded by international cuisine and just walking in one commercial strip alone will take you from France to Japan to Australia to Middle East. It is that diverse. And oh, so delicious! And they’re just in one strip, remember that. Whether you get up at dawn, mid morning, mid afternoon or midnight (depending on work or life demands), the global tastes are just a few minutes away from everywhere.
And hey, if you are out running errands, grocery shopping or buying school supplies for your kids and suddenly feel the urge to refresh your soul, all the churches are open and you can join the ladies saying the rosary when you get in, go to confession or hear mass. The church of GOD is really so accessible.
It is just so easy to refresh all the areas of your life there… from the material, to physical to spiritual (and even the superficial). Everything seems to be within reach.
But with so many distractions too, you get caught up somehow and lose the true essence of the so called balance these things should give you. Yup, too much of everything can also be dangerous to your self. If you are not careful. The golf on weekends, the appys after work, the grocery shopping and of course the two hour traffic that will make your calf muscles ache and urge you to go for another 2 hour massage does take its toll on people who wait for you at home. And that’s the better of the two evils actually. What if your kids, are just as distracted and stressed out like yourself and they develop their own “escapes” to refresh ALL the areas of their life too? Uh… I don’t think so.
So the balance is not actually very balanced as we thought it was.
We now crave for some peace and quiet. We want to see less people crossing the street. We want to ride the MRT where we can actually sit and not squeeze ourselves into a train car and not get out with all crumpled work clothes. We wish there were less buses blocking the 2 lane underpass so you can get to work without cursing. We almost want to throw 1 of our 3 cell phones where our boss, coworkers, clients, suppliers, friends, staff want to hound us 24/7.
So that was life in Manila. Yes, there’s no place like home and I sure miss it. But because I was given a chance to live in Vancouver, I now have peace and quiet. A bit more than I want, but hey, I am already here, so make the most out of it, right?
Gone are the days (and nights) where we would crave for baked mussels at night and go someplace where the cook or chef seemed to have hoarded the mussels out of some island somewhere in the Philippines. Or the sudden urge to get sushi at 10pm… forget it. Or when friends suddenly tell you they’re on the way from a movie and will get some dessert at your place and you run to the nearest Red Ribbon and get a mango cream pie and some other pastries. Or when you socially and casually bump into a high school friend at the lobby of a hotel where you met with another friend for cocktails and you sit again and giddily catch up.
Nope, that’s seldom going to happen with us here in Vancouver. And we will do our best to curb our cravings so that we might as well forget the taste of freshly baked mussels with mayo/cheese and spring onions on top. And yeah, forget about mangoes period. The sweet ones from the Philippines are just a part of my memory now. And the hardest part? Friends (and for some, family) and work. Not having them in a place where you are new and strange to all the others. We knew it will take time and effort to start our lives from zero. Knowing and actually going through it, are in the opposite sides of a stick actually. They are completely different. The latter one being sometimes hard, lonely and frustrating.
The reality that you are on your own with no one to support you is a scary feeling and a scary reality. Never mind that I don’t get to eat sushi at 10pm. That’s nothing compared to not being able to relate to the jokes that coworkers laugh at. Or not being understood when you are explaining something to a Canadian and you feel the heat at the back of your neck out of frustration because you see that they are trying to understand what you are saying. They struggle to understand the words such as “ultimatum”, “innovative”, “coconut” when you use them. I cringe sometimes then. But now, I laugh about it. Hey, if they don’t understand it, its NOT my problem. Ha ha I know what I am saying makes sense, so if they don’t get it, I don’t really care all that much now.
The masses here are so infrequent too that when we were new to Vancouver, we always missed mass. Either because we missed it because we did not adjust our clock to DST (we don’t have it in Manila) or we missed the last mass for Sunday which was 11am. 11 am. 11 am. 11am. I guess, Vancouver lacks priests and altar servers to have more masses, or maybe there aren’t just enough church-goers to have more of them throughout the day and evening.
Anyway, the toughest part of migrating is over, I hope. I now enjoy the fresh air when we spend afternoons in the park or when my husband and I go walking. I now have managed to discipline ourselves to work around the only mass schedule we can attend, spreading all the other activities we might have to make sure we get to that ONE mass we can attend. We drive our kids to their basketball games or band practice and spend our mornings with them and afterwards have a nice hearty breakfast at IHOP. I can now go home in 20 minutes and if I ever get into some sort of traffic which will extend my drive to another 10 minutes, I try not to get upset by that 10 minute delay and remember the 2 hours I was stuck in EDSA. I have one cell phone which I sometimes forget to charge. And it wouldn’t matter anyway cause no one will call. Ha! Or text. Ha again! I (try) go to the gym in the evening 3 times a week while my husband and 2 sons wait for me at the nearest Starbucks where they “bond” and “hang-out” happily.
Now, isn’t that great balance or what?
Praise God!
